I know I already posted today, but I am bored and I can't sleep. I am so excited (and nervous...and about a million other emotions at the same time). That and I think I am developing allergies...what timing huh? So that makes it a little hard to sleep too. LOL. It was actually kind of nice to eat out today. I finally got those BBQ ribs I've been craving for a week. They tasted soooooo good. I don't think that anything should taste THAT good.
I am so looking forward to having this baby. I am so sick of being pregnant. And Christopher and Ethan have been training me to wake up every few hours. I am almost looking forward to only having to wake up to feed Justin and then get to go back to sleep. The stress all of this is putting on the poor little guys is just getting too much for them I think. They can tell that something major is happening but they aren't sure HOW major. I think Christopher understands about Justin being born and maybe the new house...we've moved so many times I think he's used to that. But poor Ethan I think just knows that major change is coming and I don't know that he understands any of it yet. He's been waking up every few hours all night long, just to make sure that the family is still there and hasn't left him. It's makes me sad, I wish that I could explain to him what was happening...but he just wouldn't understand. He's come and touched my belly a few times and said "Justin", but I think to him it's just like we decided to name my belly Justin, because he's been doing that to his own stomach too...he'll lift up his shirt and point to his belly and say "Justin". It's pretty cute though. He's the one I'm going to worry about when we have to leave him to go have the baby. I'm leaving him with my cousin (that he's never met before) and we have to leave them there in the morning (neither one of the boys are "morning people"). Ever since Jon and I had to leave the boys with my aunt to go to the interview for Jon's job Ethan has been a little weary anytime we leave. But at least he's old enough now that he remembers Grandmas and Grandpas, so when they come to pick him up it won't be so bad. I can't imagine the drama if Ethan didn't remember them. He'd be like "She left me with this lady and said SHE'S alright, and now this lady is trying to give me away to these people." I think usually I overly worry about my boys. They usually do a lot better than I think they are going to do. Like when I left the boys with my aunt, I thought that Chris would start to worry after he had to spend the night...but when I walked in the door 3 days later he looked up from his toys and was all "Hi Mom." and then went back to playing with his toys, it was like I was only gone for a few minutes. That made me feel much better knowing that he wasn't hurting the whole time I was gone and thinking I left. So I will try to be optimistic that they will be alright and won't be scared or worried that I left them or anything like that. I do feel bad for the boys though that they have to go through so much change all at the same time. We just moved (into the motel) and this has been "home" (more or less) for the last 2 months. Then just as they are getting used to this being home, we decide to move "home" again, then we have to leave them for a while, while I go have a baby, then we bring a new baby home, and then Ethan has his Doctor's appointment and hopefully that won't bring any new changes for him other than a road trip to Utah. But we really don't know what they are going to be doing or what they are going to find, so I really can't say what changes it will bring. Oh, I will be glad when everything is back to "normal"...whatever that is.
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